The Clearing - Honest Conversations For Men In Midlife.

From Surface to Soul: The Power and Evolution of Friendship

Friendship is much more than a mere social formality; it is the fabric that grounds us, supports us, and guides us through the complex journey of human existence. 
In today's world, where the synthetic often seems to overshadow the organic, the deep resonance and fulfillment that genuine human connections offer become even more significant. Beyond social formalities, the essence of true friendship lies in acceptance, trust, and the shared journey through both life's highs and lows.
 
### Why Friends Matter Now
In our podcast, Matt and Karl explore the multifaceted nature of friendships, emphasizing that while we might have countless acquaintances, it's the genuine bonds that truly impact us. These are people who embrace even the shadowy parts of our personalities. Friendships built over time are layered with tolerance, forgiveness, and kindness, elements that bind us together in profound ways.
 
### Different Flavors of Friendship
Friendships don't always follow a single pattern. They are like a rich tapestry of different flavors and shades. We may not always agree or share the same interests, but that diversity is what creates harmony within those relationships. The key is recognizing and celebrating these differences, forging connections that are based on multiple threads of mutual respect and understanding.
 
### Threads, Seasons, and the Shifting Nature of Friendships
As we wander through the seasons of our lives, friendships ebb and flow. Sometimes, circumstances change, leading to a natural evolution of relationships. What might begin as a deal friendship, bound by common interests or activities, can deepen into a real friendship—a bond that transcends mere convenience and enters the realm of profound mutual support.
 
### Men's Circles and Loneliness
Another critical area we delved into was the isolation faced by men today. Men's Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us of the importance of maintaining connections. We all crave a space where we can be vulnerable, share laughter, or endure life's challenges together. By participating in men's circles like The Clearing, we forge meaningful ties that stave off loneliness and cultivate community.
 
### Finding Your Tribe
It's vital to find your tribe—those who share your passions, whether they be for sports, music, or more niche interests like stamp collecting or surfing. These shared experiences serve as bridges, powerful enough to connect people from divergent backgrounds. Remember, every friendship starts with the simple act of reaching out.
 
 
### Reach Out and Reconnect
With the world rapidly changing around us, it's important to be proactive in our friendships. A simple message to an old friend can reignite bonds, reminding both parties of the value and depth of their connection. So, why not pick up the phone today and rekindle a friendship? It could lead to something truly enriching.
 
### Subscribe and Stay Connected
To stay updated with our podcast and engage with more content on nurturing friendships and personal growth, subscribe to our podcast. Visit our website for details on events and new episodes. Contribute to the dialogue on LinkedIn or follow us on Instagram for visual stories. We look forward to connecting with you in The Clearing.
 
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 
 

The Antidote to AI Anxiety: Storytelling, Consciousness, and Community

In this 3rd episode covering the theme of AI in our lives Matt and Karl discuss how to respond optimistically to AI, especially fears about changing jobs, data use, and truth, while noting benefits like faster research and reduced regulatory timelines in areas such as vaccines.
They argue that uniquely human strengths—storytelling, empathy/feeling, personality, and consciousness (noticing, awareness, connection)—remain valuable and cannot be truly synthesized, even if AI can mimic them through prompts.
They emphasize continued frustration with automated customer service and a growing desire for “made by humans” trust marks in creative work.
The conversation centers on the importance of community and in-person “collisions” that spark collaboration, citing examples from Japan, workplace design, and shared cultural celebrations like music and football.
Matt and Karl
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Grab your ticket here for the Shoreham.tech: Building Confidence with AI event, taking place on Wednesday, June 24  •  7 PM - 9 PM.
 
This evening is for answers.
Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.
This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.
What we'll cover:
What AI actually is — and what it isn't
The real opportunities — for your work, your thinking, your reinvention
The tools, the mental models, and yes — what to do with the anxiety
Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.
You'll leave with:
A clearer sense of where you stand — and why your existing experience is often the advantage
At least one new prompt, tool or technique you can put to use the next day
A way to tell what's actually useful from what's hype, so you can keep building confidence on your own
All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.
 
....
 
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 
 

How to Live With Robots – Part 2

In their second of several conversations about AI, Matt and Karl move from everyday use of tools like Claude and ChatGPT to the more anxiety-inducing threats:
how flattering, appeasing bots can become more addictive than doomscrolling because they deliver both praise and high-speed output,
blurring boundaries at home and sparking “are you here with me or with the robot?” tensions.
They discuss how AI may soon feel like a constant presence in family life, and extend the worry into workplaces where agentive AI is already challenging roles in professional services and customer service, raising fears about redundancy, reskilling too slowly, and the shifting meaning of value and work.
They question who is steering AI’s direction—unelected actors with massive power and unclear agendas—and close with practical advice to unplug, reconnect with people and nature, set device-free boundaries, and attend an in-person AI event on June 24 at Shoreham Yacht Club to learn healthier ways to engage with the technology.
 
Matt and Karl
.....
 
Grab your ticket here for the Shoreham.tech: Building Confidence with AI event, taking place on Wednesday, June 24  •  7 PM - 9 PM.
 
This evening is for answers.
Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.
This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.
What we'll cover:
What AI actually is — and what it isn't
The real opportunities — for your work, your thinking, your reinvention
The tools, the mental models, and yes — what to do with the anxiety
Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.
You'll leave with:
A clearer sense of where you stand — and why your existing experience is often the advantage
At least one new prompt, tool or technique you can put to use the next day
A way to tell what's actually useful from what's hype, so you can keep building confidence on your own
All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.
 
....
 
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 
 

How to live with the robots - Part 1

In a new studio, Matt and Karl begin a three-part podcast series on artificial intelligence, defining AI broadly—from everyday automations and chat interfaces like Claude and Gemini to hidden uses like fraud detection and materials research—then zooming in on “agentive” AI that can run tasks semi-autonomously (like booking an entire trip end-to-end). 
 
They discuss how they personally use AI as an assistant for research, spellcheck, document comparison, and curating wellbeing “signals,” but draw boundaries around publishing synthetic content and especially around medical advice, after a patient suggested building Matt a virtual assistant clinician. 
 
They warn that AI outputs depend on inputs and can be dangerous if errors go unnoticed, argue that humans still excel at nonlinear connections and tone, and note creative industries may be most threatened. They close by teeing up an existential-risk episode, citing Elon Musk’s line, “I hope the robots are kind,” and sharing details for a June 24 Shoreham Yacht Club event on understanding digital tech and addressing the digital divide.
 
Matt and Karl
.....
 
Grab your ticket here for the Shoreham.tech: Building Confidence with AI event, taking place on Wednesday, June 24  •  7 PM - 9 PM.
 
This evening is for answers.
Join us for a 2 hour, small group, in person gathering in Shoreham. The evening will be led by Jeevan Thandi, founder of shoreham.tech, providing digital inclusion, coding & AI training for Shoreham-by-Sea.
This event is for anyone who wants to get genuinely comfortable with AI — without the hype, without the overwhelm, and without feeling like the least qualified person in the room. All experience levels are welcome. Whether you're running a small business, working for yourself, or just trying to make sense of what's happening.
What we'll cover:
What AI actually is — and what it isn't
The real opportunities — for your work, your thinking, your reinvention
The tools, the mental models, and yes — what to do with the anxiety
Expect open conversation, live demos, and honest answers.
You'll leave with:
A clearer sense of where you stand — and why your existing experience is often the advantage
At least one new prompt, tool or technique you can put to use the next day
A way to tell what's actually useful from what's hype, so you can keep building confidence on your own
All ticket sales will be donated to TechResort (https://techresort.org/what-we-do/) A digital inclusion charity in East Sussex.
 
....
 
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 
 

Health, Wealth, and the Search for Meaning

In this podcast episode, Matt and Karl continue to explore the theme of work and relationships.  They cover fulfilment beyond the financial transaction of work, focusing on meaning, contentment, and purpose in midlife careers.
They distinguish short-term gratification (dopamine rewards like bonuses, praise, and milestones) from longer-term satisfaction (deeper emotional nourishment and alignment with values), and discuss how people can be anesthetized to long-term dissatisfaction by repeated short-term rewards, including examples from sales, recruitment-style bonus cultures, and “golden handcuffs” in banking.
Matt shares a personal journey from rapid career rise and material accumulation to questioning “Is this it?” and pivoting through multiple careers toward intrinsic motivation and health as key currencies.
They both reference sabbaticals as a way to redistribute “retirement” across life, introduce “Sniper’s Alley” (50–60) as a period of health risks and mortality awareness, and close with gratitude moments from clinical work and a men’s circle where vulnerability created connection and mentorship.
....
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website

From Identity to Impact: The Midlifers' work renaissance

In this podcast episode, Matt and Karl continue a series on work, moving from identity to interpersonal relationships and how midlife men navigate colleagues, clients, and hybrid working.
Karl describes running a solo pelvic pain clinic with patients aged 18–88 and how the pandemic forced a shift from hands-on sessions to telehealth, expanding his reach globally while coinciding with increased client suicidality, his own mental-health strain, homeschooling demands, and coping through drinking, smoking, and drugs.
They discuss generational differences in remote work, blurred boundaries between colleagues and friends, and how AI both threatens and creates opportunities, including the idea of an “AI Karl” available 24/7. Practical tools include strengths-based team exercises with role-play, mapping workplace relationships by energy and interaction frequency, and using non-violent communication to improve difficult interactions, emphasizing midlife contributions of mentorship and “eldership.”
....
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 

From Fighter Pilot to Therapist: Challenging Career Stereotypes - Pod 11

Picture the scene. Someone at a party says they're a fighter pilot. The room lights up. Now imagine telling that same room you zigzagged from tennis coach to massage therapist to men's health specialist — via art college and a European Business degree. Different reaction. Same value. Very different story.
In this episode, Matt and Karl challenge the unspoken hierarchy we've all absorbed around what counts as a impressive job, a meaningful career, or a "proper" path. Karl's unconventional route into men's health — dismissed by friends and family as a hobby that would never pay — sits at the heart of a conversation that asks why we rank careers, where that instinct comes from, and what it costs us when we wrap our identity too tightly around a job title.
Matt and Karl explore the performative culture around status and work, the tribal roots of professional hierarchy, the midlife moment when the label you've spent decades earning starts to feel hollow, and what it actually means to do work that fits who you are — not who you were told to be.
Topics covered in this episode include: career stereotypes and the hierarchy of "wow factor" jobs, identity and work, zigzag versus linear career paths, label gathering and title climbing, the identity void of retirement and transitions, and why "I'm between jobs" still sounds like an apology.
Thought-provoking, honest, and occasionally very funny.
The Clearing is a space for men navigating the questions that don't come with easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website

The Praise Muscle: Why Compliments Feel Clunky (And How to Fix That)

We're wired for negativity. It kept us alive on the savannah, and it's keeping us stuck in our relationships today — noticing every open cupboard door, every pair of shoes left out, while the good stuff slides right off us like a fried egg on a non-stick pan.
In this episode, Matt and Karl get into the other side of the feedback conversation: what happens when we stop just tolerating the people we love and actually start seeing them again.
From a plate of food arriving unannounced at a desk, to complimenting a stranger on his trousers, to finally saying why you're grateful rather than just muttering "cheers" — this is about building the muscle of explicit appreciation. It turns out it's awkward at first. It turns out it's also worth it.
Plus: the Harvard study that proves talking to strangers on trains makes your day better, the Nine Whys method applied to a dinner gesture, and why Karl can't bring himself to compliment another man's aftershave.
 
The Clearing — a space for men navigating questions without easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website
 

The Conversation That Might Sting (And Why You Should Have It Anyway)

In episode nine, Matt and Karl return after an Easter break and continue their multi-week series on relationships, building on themes from a recent men’s gathering about self-care, boundaries, and negotiating personal time away from family.
They discuss how partners can manage encroachment on agreed “me time,” including setting expectations and using an emergency phrase for genuine escalations.
They then explore a feedback framework from Terry Real’s book "Fierce Intimacy," emphasising asking permission to give feedback, reaffirming love and commitment, separating behaviour from identity, and presenting a partner’s “core negative image” with supporting examples and emotional impact.
Matt describes doing the exercise with his wife during a car journey, including processing traits like messiness and rudeness, avoiding retaliation, and closing with a “core positive image” to restore balance, noting the need for time, safety, and sometimes professional support.
.....
 
The Clearing — a space for men navigating questions without easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website

What My Wife Said That I Couldn't Walk Past - Menopause, Men and Showing Up.

It's the spring equinox, and something shifts. Not just in the season — in the direction of the podcast. Karl opens with something his wife said to him that he couldn't brush past. Four words, quietly devastating, that cracked open a conversation he didn't know he needed to have. It's not a crisis story. It's a human one.
Matt and Karl use this episode to launch a 12-week season on relationships — with our partners, our families, the world, and ourselves. They start where it's most immediate and most personal: the menopause. Not as experts. Not with answers. As two midlife men trying to show up better for the women around them, and honest about how much they still don't know.
In this episode, Matt and Karl explore:
Why the spring equinox felt like the right moment to commit to a season-long theme
Karl's blog post about his wife Nicole — and the conversation it started
What it means for men to "hold space" without making it about themselves
Matt's own writing on perimenopause — and why every word felt loaded
The history of damaging medical language around menopause, and why it still matters
The difference between managing change and celebrating it
What Karl learned from speaking with pelvic health experts Sandy Hilton and Hillary Lewin
How to be present for something you can never fully understand
This is a season about relationships. It starts here — messy, real, and worth showing up for.
Click here to download our FREE Menopause PDF handout and/or the audio guide.
 
 
The Clearing — a space for men navigating questions without easy answers.
We would love to hear from you, with your practices, and/or any questions you might have around self care.
 
 
 
Email us at matt@theclearing.life
Follows us here:
Instagram
Website